The Doors Of Perception

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2005-04-01T19:40:00.000+01:00

Who Is Famous?

2005-03-19T12:43:00.000Z

This blog gets more and more personal every time I write in it. It was originally going to be about interesting things that I would like to read about. But after failing to be good at that (and also being lazy) I stopped with that. Now it just seems to be rather dull, updated every once in a while, no visitors kinda thing. Whats up with that? I wanna be famous but put no work into it at all. Understand? Rhetorical questions ROCK!

Some people claim to fancy me. Its all lies!

Freedom of BOREDOM!

!E!X!C!L!A!M!A!T!I!O!N!M!A!R!K!S!

Maddox had his 100,000,000th visitor on March 18th. I don't know how many visitors I have ever had. If I could afford (or even had a credit card) I would so get my own site. I was thinking about doing a web comic. They rock but I can't draw, and the only person I know who would be willing to do it doesn't really like me at the moment. So....

That's all I have to say.

Not Much To Look Forward To

2005-02-17T13:31:00.000Z

I came to blogger.com and signed becuase I had something really good to write about. However it took ages to load and I also got distracted with something else. But who really cares?
If you live in the UK., buy Freeview. If you have watched BBC 1 or 2 in the past 12 months you will know what I am talking about. And I tell you its worth the money.
I watched the first two episodes of Jeoy on Sunday on Five. I like Five nowdays becuase it got rid of "channel", but also becuase it is getting lots of good programs on it. But how I miss the softcore porn on Friday nights. Anyways Joey wasn't that funny, too predictable and also that canned laughter just pisses me off too much for words. I hope it gets better.
It is half term this week. So yay. I may get a tatto on my birthday, but I doubt my parents will let me, or that you are allowed to at that age.
Maybe I will do more posting, more often.
Watch Desperate Houswives, that program is so hilarious. Just to let you know.

2005 Is Here

2005-01-01T02:24:00.000Z

Its cureently 2:24am New Years Day. Which means two things:
1) I didn't have a very good New Years Eve.
2) It is lots of horses birthday today. Happy Birthday to every single horse in the world!
I decided to say a few things about this blog (why do I always seem to blog about my blog? Its odd).
Above I mentioned the time, but on my postswhere it sayswhat time I posted is not always correct. This is becuase it takes the tiem from when you first came onto the page to write this andnot when you actually posted. So sometimes I change this and other times I don't. Another thing is it does not allow you to do it in 24 hour clock time.
It would seem that I have gone all through the year, from when I started this site, without having a proper copywright sign on this page. So if anybody as come to this page and stolen something, becuase you did not see a copywright sign, please inform me. Or just because you stole something.
Thats about it. Enjoy 2005 and stickto your New Year resolutions.

Christmas And New Year

2004-12-27T23:24:00.000Z

I would like to say something like "I hope you all had a great, fun and interesting christmas". But if your christmas' are anything like mine then they are usually not fun.
But to continue on I am thinking about my New Years resolutions. What I am seriosuly considering is about making a proper blog. Nobody reads this, so I may start it up again in the New Year, but make a real go of it. I will probably delete this, but what I will do is keep some of what I have said and re-write it. So if you see anything that you have seen on here on another site it is probably me being lazy and re-writing what I have already said.
I don't think I will be updating anymore before the new year, so have a good time for the rest of 2004 and see in the new year in a good way.
If I do make another blog or any other site for that matter, I will tell all you on here.
Cureent Reader Fanbase: 0

Web Comics

2004-12-02T21:58:00.000Z

Web comics are all the rage at the moment. Instead of buying comics from a local comic shop, people are now reading them for FREE on the internet. When I was a lad I never cared much for comics. I read a few but super heroes did not interest me a great deal. But thanks to the internet (once again we salute to you Mr Internet) people are able to put their ideas out and get, sometimes, a far greater audience thna if it was published in a comic book. Also, instead of appealing to some sort of mass market they can do things about whatever the hell they like. Personally I do not care for some of these comics becuase they are anime or manga. I prefer the humourous comics that make me laugh (like I enjoy most things).
If you have never come across a web comic I will link a few of my favourites.
www.whiteninjacomics.com - A ninja, in white!
www.ctrlaltdel-online.net - A group of people living in a flat that enjoy computer games.
www.dead-beef.com - Similar to the one above, but slightly ruder and more obscene.
www.butternutsquash.net - Some guys who like their coffee cafinated and their women hot, but they probably also like their coffee hot too.
So there is my relativaly small guide to web comics. Go and read every web comic there is make one. A funny one, not a manga one.

I'm Still Alive

2004-11-18T17:53:00.000Z

Making posts such as these would be made worthwhile if anybody actually bothered to contact me about anything. But anyways just to let you know that I am still around and will update when interesting news items happen that I can talk to a "global" audience of four about (when I say four I mean four readers of this site, not four year olds).

Go Out And Vote

2004-10-30T21:51:00.000+01:00

The Americans never cease to amaze me. I could do a whole list of the things they do and say, but I do not want to. So I am going to get straight to the point and just say what I am thinking.
As you may or may not know there has been an increase in the amount of people registering to vote. This is a good thing. But what I do not get is the reasons why people say they are registering this year instead of in 2000.
Q: Why Did You Decide To Register To Vote This Year?
A: Because I thought it was important this year.
What? This year is the only important year? As opposed to all the other years where it was not important who made the decisions in your life. Or its not important who runs the most powerful independent country in the world.
There are more but I am running out of time. So I am going to get straight to the point. Find out who idiots like these are voting for and vote against them, so that you do not get somebody supported by these people. This will probably mean that you are voting for President Bush, because these people like to think that they know about politics and what's going on by voting for John Kerry. But you should know better right?

Everybody Is Out To Help Me

2004-10-18T19:41:00.000+01:00

Are you friendly? Yes or no? I am gonna bet no, because you do not have a big big big website. There is practice behind my theory so let me explain. If you do not have a website you are poor and upset, because you do not have one. However, if you do have a website then you are going to be really happy and ecstatic and be going all like "I have a website, unlike you losers who don't, unless you do in which case, would you be interested in a link swap?"
Maybe I got a little carried away there, but the message is clear. If you have a website you are in Nirvana, literally. So, when you have this website you are going to feel sorry for people who don't. How do you eradicate the problem of this "guilt"? It is simple you give away free stuff to people who visit your site.
This is where I reap the benefits of having a website (this counts ya know) but I don't have a conscience so I can take all this free stuff. Screw (real) website owners, the joke is on you. Now everyone is a loser.

Bush Is A Fool

2004-10-11T20:24:00.000+01:00

Bush is a fool, or so it would seem. He wears a wire and gets told what to say. Is this true? I don't know or care, its not my stupid country he is ruining, yet. But, as usual people like to make up lots and lots of stuff on the internet about everything. As you would expect there is a very serious chunk of every blogger in the world talking about this, and also a few serious newspapers.
CannonFire
Mystery Bulge
Is Bush Wired?
Those are just some of the many sites around to prove (I couldn't find any trying to disprove them, apart from the US government ones) that Bush is wearing a wire. Personally I don't think he is wearing a wire. I mean why bother with it. We all know he's an idiot.

Creating An Online Fad

2004-09-21T20:57:00.000+01:00

Well it looks like its up to me to save the world again then. There are currently no world famous fads on the net. There is just the leftovers from the previous ones. Like e-bay everybody is still going crazy on that, but its old.
Therefore I have decided to come up with a new craze. Blogs was on of the most recent ones, and look how I have conqured that one, with my awesome fanbase.
So my new idea is a web-comic. I have seen into the future and I can sense that this will be HUGE. All I have to do is start writing comical sequences of events and then put them on the net. However, I shall not be drawing them with my precious typing hands, no. I shall be using already drawn and free to use things. For free, and im lazy.
Now I must leave and get back to my study. By which I mean open "My Documents."

Boo Terrorism

2004-09-07T17:33:00.000+01:00

Terrorism is like so old now. After that crazy terrorism thing in Russia (which by the way I will not be making fun of, in case you got worried there) terroism is just old and boring. So for all of you potential suicide bombers waiting to go and be suicidal somewhere, come and join my cause.
I have not yet changed my name to a really long name that people can make fun of or had an idea for a really wacky dress sense or grown a beard/moustache.
But I have got a better cause than "foreign devils" or "you invaded my country". My cause is that I cant afford a laptop. So other people have to go out and fight for my right to let someone give me enough money to buy a really kick ass laptop.
Oh and by the way, by reading any part of this post including or excluding this paragraph you agree to help me with my cause.
I do not rule out violence but I also do not promote it for this cause.

Buy My Blog

2004-08-26T02:04:00.000+01:00

Ok now I am about to give up and sell this blog. Now I know that nobody will throw their hands up in the air and cry because nobody visits this damn blog. What I need is for Blogger to give me lots of publicity, but they don't. No they are mean and just sell out to Google. So unless they promote my site and in a place where I can see it then I will sell this to somebody.
If you are interested go email me.

If Only I Were Paid

2004-08-03T05:39:00.000+01:00

The one of the worst things in life is not being able to afford something. I cannot afford to get a real website, so I have to rely on Blogger to let me rant and rave, without anyone taking interest, but I cannot get paid via adverts or the like because they do not allow that on a free site like this. Its one of those Catch-22's.
What would be even better is if I could get a job in a newspaper just writing about things in the news and I can be as rude as I like because I am not a proper jounalist and do not have to do research and I can write about whatever the hell I want. Like that Jeremy Clarkson, has he had it easy or what? Drive lots of cars write and present a show about them and also do a thing like this once a week in The Sunday Times. I want his jobs.

I Believe...

2004-07-31T08:28:00.000+01:00

No, no I don't. All my life i have never belived in anything. I am being brought up in school mainly as a Christian, although we are supposed to be tolerant of other faiths. i don't go to church or anythign like that becuase I was never forced to and i just don't realy understand what all that is about.
All of the other faiths never really showed anything that i thought was right. Most just seem to be a hobby for people, mainly older people, much like building model aeroplanes.
Maybe the reason that i do not go in for all of these things is becuase I am to cynical. I just don't trust anything that i can not see working in the now. If that makes any sense. Maybe also it is becuase i am lazy.
This was another useless excuse to update becuase I felt bad for not doing ti in a while.

Some Stuff

2004-07-26T12:29:00.000+01:00

In the long time I have not done anything, Blogger decided to update their thing where I write this stuff. I am not sure what it is called but I think it is called a "text editor". Which is nice. But its not, becuase I don't like change so it will take me a while to get used to this new stuff.
Apart from that while I was away I was hoping that maybe somebody would ahve seen this and decided to contact me to see what was going on. Yeah, that didn't happen. it would seem that I am just one more site on the internet that doesn't update. Sort of reminds me of thousands of others out there, but nevermind.
I am to promise more updates soon. If not I will stop this so I can for sure say you don't have to come back. If you don't relaise that was a hint for you to email me to say "no please don't go".

That Was Worth Three Years

2004-07-09T22:12:00.000+01:00

If you are privilaged enough and telented enough to be able to afford to go to University, don't waste your chance. For example a worthwhile subject to study would be engineering. I mean people always need new machines to make their life easier.
Although, while there are some great subjects to enlighten your mind (and eventually your bank account) there are also some really crap ones that nobody cares about. These basically include anything ending in "ology". Such as Sociology, Pschycology and Biology. Just looking at the names of those subjects lowers your IQ by 12 each time. So guessing that you have read this you are probably on -100 or so.
If you are even slightly clever enough you may choose one that sounds important and worthwhile but ends up going nowhere. Journalism is one of these. You finish University and go out to look for work. How about in a respectable newspaper? Or even working for a magazine? You decide to work for a magazine. What magazine is it? Oh yeah a gossip magazine, writing about Big Brother and who is going out with who and what the hell a barge boat is and why washed up actors are going on them.
Get a real qualification. Media studies, honestly.

Are You A New Breed?

2004-07-04T14:29:00.000+01:00

The answer to that question is of course, yes. If you have ever read a newspaper article then you most certainly are. If not, you should start some are quite funny. But back to the new breed thing. Suddenly everyone is a new breed of this or that. It is just a new way of saying there are different from everyone else, of course in these here modern times being different is apparently a good thing. Just take a look around your nearest big city centre its full of wierdo's and freaks.
I am a new breed of computer type person. One, that along with my super-human "being a critic and lazy idiot" powers I will take over the world and maybe get a job in a Sunday newspaper ranting and also driving fast cars every so often. What will you be? I don't really care.
Also, for your information during the writing and researching for this article I kept writing "bread" instead of breed. Its all your fault.

I Am Going To Hack Your Computer

2004-07-02T16:40:00.000+01:00

Actually that title should read "I Want To Hack Your Computer". The reason for that is because, unlike most "hackers", I admit that I can't do any hacking. However much fun it is to scare people with the idea that you can hack their computer, there should be some way of knowing without actually getting hacked by that person. So that is why I have decided to invent a course in hacking. This way people will have something to prove that they are a real hardcore hacker (insert some "leet" language here).
But now I here you all asking something along the lines of this:
"But if it is on the computer, can't somebody just steal it?"
Let me break that sentence down. It will be on the computer an no, people will not be able to steal it. For the simple reason that if it is posted on the net or sent to somebody via the internet or a computer then it would have to be hacked to get your hands on. If you are good at hacking you could get it and you might as well get your own and if you are not then you can't get it. Simple.
Now all I have to do is go and finalise it with Oxford and Cambridge and get it started in University next year.

I Think I Just Made And Then Lost A Fortune

2004-06-28T17:09:00.000+01:00

Hello dear faithless harsh judger of my work, I have returned. And amongst the looting and broken hearts caused by my absence I have returned without any hope. Now, if those last two sentences made any sense to you then may God have mercy on your soul and so forth.
So onwards to today's ramblings of a crazy person and this time around its about how much I hate people who are in some way better than me, mainly with the money. If any of you are older than say about 12 then you will remember a couple of years ago that there was the whole "dot com boom". This was some crazy stuff, everybody suddenly started making sites about nothing and wasting their money on hosting and domain names and then they realised nobody wants to buy their entire collection of model airplanes from 1967-1984.
Also I hate people that make money with one stupid invention and think they are so damn great. Like the guy that invented the wind up radio. Its not even that great and yet he is on every single thing to do with inventions. What an idiot.
I would write some more about these jerks who make and lose money without giving (not taking) from me in the process, but I don't want to.

Getting Inspiration

2004-06-12T00:15:00.000+01:00

Inspiration is hard to get. I have recently been trying ot get information to design a web site for something but nothing came to my head. Usually when I can't think of anything I look around the net and great ideas are thrown at me. But now I look around an dit is all basically the same stuff switched around and different colours. There needs to be something new to be able to get a whole new fresh perspective on things. But until this comes I guess you are all stuck with these rather boring layouts.
Hopefully I will manage to get some inspiration soon enough to make something new. Maybe I will lead a revolution or something, who knows? The next Che Guevara. What is the difference between a freedom fighter and a terrorist? That is unanswerable.

I Can't Believe That Happened, A While Ago

2004-06-10T19:40:00.000+01:00

So some pretty major stuff happened while I did not bother to update. Well, it wasn't really major it was just stuff. But I will still proceed to write about it and make witty comments on it.
The first one I will talk about is D-Day 60 years anniversary. I'm not sure what to put about this, apart from Steven Spielberg made some crap up about it. All those lies he managed to fir in those films. Also many people died in them so you have to feel guilty for not being alive then and going to war. The end of it basically means England won the war (with a little help from our friends and... others) and that I should remember more from my history lessons.
The second little news thing that happened was that former President Ronald Reagan died on Saturday. I was watching his funeral procession yesterday when his coffin was moved so damn slowly to the place where they kept it before flying it back to be buried properly. That just seems like a long waste of time and money. And no assassination attempt at anybody, what is all that about? It was tried first time around at him now people should of had a game of trying to knock his coffin off the thing that he was riding on. And it being much more interesting for foreigners who don't care about ex-Presidents, that much.

Selling Out

2004-06-05T20:24:00.000+01:00

Everybody in life is trying to make money. Whether it is by getting a job and earning it legitimately or through scamming people out of it. One example of this is when the government tax people who live in their country, its just the same as paying to park in a car park. But on the internet it is usually adverts splashed all across a web page or even a pop up.
Even on this site their are adverts, sort of, placed by this host. But I was just wondering if I should put my own adverts on it. Just place large adverts of half naked ladies supposedly for free and let the money roll in. This is common practice used by most owners of websites. Using adverts that are larger than the actual content of the site. If this site were more popular however it would more tempting, to anger people who come here. But, alas, this site is unknown to everybody in the entire world. So I will leave it for now.

Free Or Best Offer

2004-06-04T19:39:00.000+01:00

That's the price England, as a country, is offering for another country to buy Tim Henman. Everybody thinks he is finally going to actually do something for once in his career, but then screws it up. Take, for example, the French Open. This is the one possible where he may just prove his worth to society as a whole... and then, oh yes he loses to an Argentinian! I coule beat him at tennis, it is just simple maths:
1st Serve
Tim Henman is about to serve.
Crowd cheer him on.
He faints.
Second Serve
Tim Henman is about to serve.
Crowd now remember from past experiences that cheering him on is not good. Tim is confused by this and...
He faints.
(This generally continues for about an hour.)
Game-Set-Match-Point to me.
So, if any countries want somebody that gets your hopes up for two weeks in a year (Wimbledon), and then do not hear from him for a year until summer comes around again and he does television advertisements.
Please send all enquires to the English Government enclosed with the permanent link to this article. A bargain if I don't say so myself.

Viruses And The Like Are The Same As World Atrocities

2004-06-03T19:50:00.000+01:00

After recently getting the Sasser worm (I know, old news) from somewhere across the internet I got very upset. But then I also realised that people only target Windows computers. Now I know many of you hardcore computers guys will be crying to your mother about the mean man on the internet who does not tell the facts, but I don't care.
The thing I do not get is the only bad thing about the Windows company is that they made it into the big time, and the other company's did not. People who buy the other systems are usually people who have a vast knowledge of computers and have got degrees in them. However, people who buy Windows are just ordinary people that need to do work or want to play games and don't know a single thing about removing a worm or how to programm. So in conclusion either get out of your stereotypical parents basement and get a life or start pissing people of who own the other systems and they are the genius' for annoying the hell out of half the worlds population.

Strangers Are Great

2004-06-02T12:07:00.000+01:00

Talking to people who you randomly get the email address or IM name from is so much fun! After recently talking to a person I met over the internet they agreed to give me stuff for FREE. Not enough people in real life do that which is stupid. I will start doing that just walking around and suddenly jump on somebody and give them free stuff. I also urge anybody reading this to do the same. Especially if you see me give me lots of stuff. Although you do not know what I look like, so it doesn't matter. But if you did you should.
Do not waste your time on "precious family members and friends" but instead do it for a worthy cause like a homeless person, a drug addict or somebody working in Starbucks which is probably the worst of all of them. That is about all I have to say on the subject but think about it then do it!

Look At Me, I Have A Website

2004-05-30T23:00:00.000+01:00

On the internet you may see many different things. These may include porn, news, blogs, forums and the useless. During my coming time on this here blog I may touch on all of these areas of the internet, but for today I will concentrate on just one, the useless.
On these site there are two groups of people. First you have the people that make a site and then tell everybody in the entire world about without realising that it is in fact crap. The other type of sites are the educational once. These were made about five or six years ago and have never been updated since. This is usually most people get their information for their homework. But what I do not get is why waste your money on these things. It brings no joy to anybody. You make think that by having the site you will encourage people to join you in your belief that your favourite role model/religion/area that you live is the greatest thing ever. But you will not. Your site will just come up on a search engine and used and forgotten about, much like a hooker... odd. Anyways whilst I appreciate these idiots being there to do my homework for me learn this one lesson: free hosting.
Some people that use the internet are just so annoying and do not have anything good to write about.

Friends Go Bye-Bye

2004-05-29T11:48:00.000+01:00

The last ever episode of Friends was screened last night in the UK, and it was crap. If you have already seen the show in America then it will be old news and if you are yet to see it, then..well where the hell are you, in Egypt? This last series has been terrible. It has no jokes and is all about making people feel sad. What I do not get is why did they just not continue and stop it. Instead of tying up lose ends and moving on, why not just keep continuing with the funny jokes until they decided it was enough and to stop it. Now that they have stopped being payed $1million per episode they have to go and get real jobs, except Jennifer Aniston because she got into a wise investment (Brad Pitt).
Joey is going to have a spin-off series set in Los Angeles which will no doubt end in hilarious consequences. And all the others will end up running for President or something along those lines. If they do manage to get proper jobs now that it is finished it wont come as much of a surprise, there is always jobs going in McDonald's.
I would like to wish them luck, but unfortunately I couldn't care less if they were rich or not they are celebrities and deserve to have topless pictures on the internet (ladies only) without crying to their lawyer.

Oxfam Gonna Take Over The World

2004-05-26T20:54:00.000+01:00

I learn news quickly. Oxfam has started its own music downloading website. You are able to download 300,000 different songs. The service is being provided by some company called OD2, I don't know who the hell they are but whatever.
If you would like to go and help the charity then go to Big Noise Music and start downloading.
That was a really short update. I will do better next time, I promise!

Fantastic Ideas

2004-05-26T20:28:00.000+01:00

My brain is seriously weird. I get ideas at the wierdest times sometimes. I'm just sitting down doing nothing at all and then all of a sudden I get these really good ideas. So what I have decided to do is to write all the ideas I have onto paper and then write a book about all these ideas I have, whilst at the same time converting the ideas into real things themselves. The great idea about this is that I win twice. Once for the book writing and twice for all the other ideas I convert. So HA!
I would usually encourage you to do the same but, well I done it first and I really need the money. All of these ideas come to me at random times across my lifetime so, a general rule for any writers like myself, is to carry some kind of notebook with you. Now, because I am at school and if I were to get out a notebook and write down my ideas I would be called a loser. So my best tip for you if you are like me and can't find the place to write it down, is to write on your hand. This way you can cover it up and save embarrassment.
Good Luck with that. Also, if you have any unwanted ideas that you are willing to give me free control over then please leave a comment. Thank you.

Stupid Ass Companies

2004-05-25T17:04:00.000+01:00

I recently found a website claiming that they were a UK based program manufacture giving you free downloads to their programs. Now at first I wasn't going to be taken as a chump and get sucked into this and it being useless. So I checked it out and it all seemed pretty normal and above board so I decided to download it.
*Skip THREE hours, like in a cartoon*
I am sitting down at my computer and just opening up my first chosen to program to download (a graphics program). I open it up and I decide to make an animation (a moving image) and so I start to create it, without much help from the "wizards", and then all of a sudden out of NO WHERE it all disappears. So I re-open the program and then it tells me I have to ring up this number (which is probably £1.00 a minute) to get my registration code. And now I have just received four emails telling me about their specials offers. I would give you their web address to keep you away from them, but you would probably be an idiot and download their things, or worse, pay for it.
Stupid companies.
What else happened?
Not much else has happened today apart from the fact I found out I screwed up one of my exams. Stupid history, who needs to know about the past anyways? Not me that's for sure. Oh yes, in my other section of internet life I have joined up with one old fad and a new fad, well it is to me anyways, that I found. And I am continuing to make new layouts for people, who then complain about it when its FREE. Idiots.

Nothing

2004-05-24T18:01:00.000+01:00

This blog has been around for a day almost and yet nobody posted any comments on the last post and I doubt that anybody will post any comments on this post. If anybody is reading this please tell at least 5 other people and your life will be great. This is like a chain letter.
Anyways, I will tell you something interesting. When I leave school, and whatever happens after that, I want to be a journalist for a magazine. This apparently is not as easy it seems. This sucks. I mean, you have to do loads of extra things such as interview people write articles which are like OVER 1000 words long. What The Hell? That's stupid, I would rather just slack off and on the day before going to print just get on the computer and type something up in size 20 font and make just enough sense to put in the magazine. To which my English teacher replied "You can't do that" so I mumbled under my breath "Ah Fuck". That's another thing I could add the comedy to it just like I did then. Honestly, some people are so arrogant and useless.

My First Post

2004-05-23T16:34:00.000+01:00

Creating a first post is always a hard thing to do. Much in the same way your last words are difficult. You have to say something creative, original and exciting that people will change and repeat incorrectly for a long time. It is a lot of pressure to put on somebody.
So that is why I have decided not to try and make it interesting. This first post will be boring, quiet and you will wish it will be over already.
You now may be wondering what I am going to be presenting to you on this "blog". Well, generally on these blogs people have their thoughts and junk splattered all over them. But not me. I will be posting all the things I want to write about at any given moment.
These may include such things as music, computers, internet, wed design, television and anything to do with where I live (which is in the UK). A lot of my posts will be to do with news and things in the UK, if you do not understand these things go to the BBC and search for it on there, it will help.
As for now, you could be as kind as to go and tell people about this up and coming new blog.
Good Day to you.